Persephone

Hmmm.......
So, i decided to spend a half-hour reading through Persephone's previous posts on her blog, all of them.
I connect with her words well, as at the same time she was in a depression, so was I. While I forced myself out of it, it seems i helped her out of her own. Thinking deeply about this as i do, i think i realize something, i have another vantage point upon her mind, upon her past. I realized that Persephone must be very grateful for my sudden appearance in her life, much more so then i thought before. Correct me if im wrong mind you, but i now see through her eyes better, why she holds me at such high esteem, and its much the same way, and for the same reason as it is for me.

This puts me in a solemn mood, i realize why some of the things i do bugs her as it does, like put myself down. I feel like i should have fully realized this earlier. All the while, i wish i could hold her closer to me at this moment, just squeeze her. I am thankful for her as well, for her giving me this chance, she is another chance for me to effect her life, and maybe others for the better, leave my mark perhaps, but i do not intend to leave.

Though i am being a fool, i feel like i am disappointing Persephone, if only very slightly, i can still feel it, see it. I have asked her to show her jealousy, so i may not make her jealous anymore, i also asked about the things that make her jealous. The reason being is that i was getting jealous of certain things, and it was annoying her. So, whether she knows this by now or not, i wish to work on both of our flaws at the same time. I will not allow myself to fail her, Not again, i will not give her reason to leave.

It has been two months since we met, and nearly two months until we started going out. Yet it seems the lustre of this new relationship is already growing a little duller, i dont like it. I like how close Her and i still are, physically, we both crave touch, so we are both glued together, inseparable. But, it always filled me with joy when she said something about me in her blog, it was proof that i did something right, and i did it well enough to be exceptional. Lately, there has been very very little about me, which is okay, considering the circumstances, but then the first thing she said, was about something i did that annoyed her. I am failing already, i cannot do something exceptional for her, instead, i am doing the opposite.
 .....That, I cannot let linger, i will deal with this immediately.

The last thing she said to me tonight was
"Thank you"
"Youre welcome......but for what"
"Everything"

I didnt quiet know what that meant until i read her blog, until i let my mind clear, my fear of gaining an ego and becoming arrogant that blinds me still, slip away for the time being; and i realized, I do everything i can for her, hoping it would be enough, and it turns out everything i do, is more then everything she needs. I realized she needs me, and needed me as much as i needed her....

Good night...